Gettin grown

A couple of days ago I celebrated my 29th birthday. I didnt have a big party or even a small intimate dinner but I was very happy with my day. I felt blessed.  Being able to grow older is a blessing that I humbly welcome.  Most women see the last year of their 20’s as a curse.  I had one woman tell me “there’s no turning back now, you aint a little girl anymore.” In a way I was offended, she phrased it as if I hadn’t been an adult this entire time.

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Being in your 20’s is a bit of a double edge sword.  You’ve got time on your side along with youth, strength and if your lucky beauty. But the downside is that you dont have the wisdom from lessons learned which is more valuable . Im thinking that my 30’s are going to be the best of both worlds; young enough to enjoy all those great attributes but old enough to have that wisdom. 

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I am starting to feel the physical changes of getting older. An ache here, an ouch there. Recovery time from exercising is a little slower than it used to be. My biological clock is faintly ticking but not enough to stress about.  All in all I feeling my age and all that goes with it ; good and indifferent. And I like it. I enjoy getting older. I appreciate what lessons I’ve learned along the way. Gettin grown wasn’t easy but its better than the alternative.

Handle with care

The older that I get the more I understand taking care of myself.  Sure the eating right and regular exercise is the first thing to pop into everyone’s mind, but there is a alot more to it. Keeping yourself sharp mentally and emotionally is usually overlooked by most but its all apart of self care. Even God wants all of you in working order.  In 3 John1:2 it reads” Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well.” In other words everything needs to be working mind, body,and spirit. Anger, regret, resentment,  and fear reck havoc on a body.  How you are feeling will manifest itself in your body in the form of illnesses.  All of you is important. All of you is needed. Its ok to take care of you.

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Taking care of all of me means I love me, and its ok to love me.

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So in the words of a man who I’d never though that I would quote Jerry Springer “Take care of yourself and each other” Be well all!

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P.s. yes I am the type of person that will quote the BIBLE and Jerry Springer in the same breath. Im just that type of girl I am. Im just as shocked as you are but it just fit what I was trying to express. Be well all!

Moving forward.

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In a couple of weeks I will turn a year older. I am on the tail end of my twenties and I’m excited and nervous all at once.  Im excited about the opportunities and possibilities that are opening up to me but I’m nervous about the unknown.  It seems like my twenties just flew by. Praise God that they did! Most people want to go back in time and relive their high school and college years because it was the best years of their life.  Not me. I wouldn’t go back for anything.  Leave the past where it is. Going through awkward teen years and the growing pains of becoming an adult is not something that I want to do again. 

Maybe I should give a little back story.  I was a very bright teenager with glasses,  pigeon toed, shy, rocky self esteem and a very dry sense of humor.

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Then

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Now

Did I mention that I was an overweight teen. So put all of these elements together in the late 90’s and you’ve got yourself a struggling teen that turned into a jaded young adult.  Bottom line:  I WILL NEVER WANT TO GO BACK!  Being a full fledge adult is awesome! If your not busy trying live in the past you get to see that you can write your present and future. So praise God that time keeps marching on because there is truly more to life than you reliving the first act that has already been completed.  Only go forward because you cant go back.

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Its been a minute..

I am still alive! I didnt drop off the planet. As usual life started to happen and I haven’t had time to write.  Things are moving in a good direction for me. I got a new position which I’m excited about. Its just what I needed.  I got a new camera so my post will look extra fancy soon. I feel liberated.  For the past couple of months I have been in a major funk . I couldn’t write or paint for nothing. I had a total creative block that wouldn’t let up. I think that I was still dealing with the break up but wasn’t being honest about it. But about a couple of days ago I was just tired of the funk and ready for something different. So I’ve been into me since then and I forgot how much I liked flying solo. You can truly do whatever you want! I also remember that I let alot of my friendships  drop off when I was in a relationship and now I really miss hanging out with them. Now I have to rebuild those friendships and remember to not let the distance happen again.   Ahh single girl issues never end.

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I am enjoying my time right now. Its sunny out side and I’m ready to frolic.  Memphis is about to have alot of events that I can’t wait to go to. I’ll keep you guys posted.  Until then, find something to do and have a great time!

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P.s. I’m still playing with my look . Im going to find out if blondes have more fun.

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Soo its summertime…

I simply adore the summertime.  I love everything about it. Food, concerts, and the awesome heat are the elements of summer that I live for. One of my favorite events to go to is trolley night. The South Main Arts District makes up the southern portion of Downtown Memphis. It is located on South Main Street.

On the last Friday of each month, an event called “Art Trolley Tour” is put on by the owners of the South Main businesses and art galleries. From 6-9 p.m. the MATA trolley service up and down Main Street, open art galleries, and longer hours for most  of the area shops. It is truly the best time to be downtown.  The first stop  that was made was to the Sue Layman gallery. 

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The Sue Layman gallery incredible! Its a 3 story gallery with amazing pieces on each floor.  Sue the artist greets you at the door and makes you feel like your old friends. Her pieces are vibrant and inspiring. The piece in the post is called “Making Music”.

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Next stop is the Cheesecake Corner. It is truly the most amazing cheesecake that I have ever had! They have everything from a classic cheesecake to the vanilla pound cake cheesecake.  Both are incredible.  Everything about their cheesecake is magical.

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One of my favorite places to go to on South Main is Downtown Candle.  Their candles are hand poured from artisan soy wax, heavenly essential oils, and natural cedar wooden wicks. There is no secret to why Downtown Candle Company are considered the best candles! They are eco-friendly and all natural.   Downtown Candle sets itself apart  from commercial candles by  providing soot free consistent  burning that you won’t get from any other candle. My favorite is Melon berry with  juicy watermelon,strawberry and green melon. It is heavenly Devine!

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As you can tell by my post I simply adore everything about South Main and trolley night. The best part is that you get to experience true downtown culture with the most friendly people you will ever meet.  I love my town!

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Get you a sponsor?

After a break up most women go through some changes.  My change is usually hair. I either chop it off or get it flowing down my back. This time I chose  the chop off method.  It always makes me feel refreshed and sassy. So I made an appointment with my hairstylist for the new look that I was going for.  So while she’s standing there cutting me up, we get to talking about each other’s exs and how we are coping with the change . I said ” I’m just going to fly solo and take care of me”. You know that strong black woman shtick that you say when you really don’t know what you’re going to do. Well my stylist responds in a very matter of fact tone “girl I got myself a sponsor, I’m too gucci” .

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At this point in the conversation I am thoroughly intrigued and must know more. You see my definition of sponsor is more like a sugar daddy that you eventually have to give up some sugar for. She quickly informed me that that isnt always the case. “Some men just want to do for you and make you happy”she said. I have never come in contact with this type of man and if I did, I didn’t know it. I really find it hard to believe that this kind of relationship between man and woman exist.  If it does how does it work?

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I always thought women that had sponsors were the types that didn’t have anything going for themselves. My stylist is not one of those women.  She is a sista out there doing it for herself,  so why the sponsor? I have a hard time excepting gifts from people that I know. It would seem really weird accepting anything from a person who was basically a stranger.  In this day and age is it possible to just have someone  who ” just wants to see you happy”? Give me some feedback.  Does this really happen to people?

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P.s. here’s a look at my new hair. 

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I am serving all types of sass. GET INTO THAT!

This is the end.

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So a couple of days ago I got a text from my prior significant other(my Ex) to get his things back. I knew that this day was coming but in some ways I still wasnt prepared for it. It was an easy exchange. Im not one for drama most of the time but I had a serious inner battle that I really had to wrestler with.  You know the one when the angel is telling you” be cool,calm,and lady like. Just give him his stuff back and move on” . Then I have the little devil’s on the other side that is screaming” burn his crap and and ship it back to his mama’s house!” One of these I really wanted to do and the other i actually did . I really didn’t know I felt like following the little devil’s advice until he contacted me. Usually I have no problem dismissing anything dramatic but I really had to fight the urge to act like  a castmate on Love and Hip Hop. Then I had an epiphany( I seem to be having alot of those) I’m ok with being without him. Sometimes at the end of a break up we only want to remember the great times with that person but the truth is that things weren’t always roses with that person.  There were reasons for the ending of the relationship.  Valid reasons that you shouldn’t just sweep under the rug. Its best to let go  and move on which I plan on doing.  I am ready to move onward and upward.

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Long awaited ending

Breakups are extremely hard for me. For some reason I always believe that it can work out. When the truth is that it was time for that person to go. I’m always the optimist,  the hopeless romantic that believes that its just a storm that we are going through and its just a matter of time before we find our way back to each other. To be honest I’m usually wrong. Totally wrong. I blatantly ignore the writing on the wall that my then partner wrote in big bold letters to let me know that they were on their way out.

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I recently broke up with someone that I was with for a reasonably amount of time. The first three days were the hardest. Like most women, I went over our relationship like a bad movie. I went over every detail that I could think of to over analyze the break up. I did this for about 2 days. On the third day it finally hit me, I was ready to break up.  I was no longer happy and neither was he. Deep down I was hoping that he would break up with me because I truly didn’t want the responsibility ( I got my wish).  The split was mutual but I think that the other party thinks that it was all their idea and I’m cool with that. When you really want it to be over, you dont care who’s idea it was. You just want out.

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You might ask why didn’t I just do it. I really didn’t want to look like the bad guy. I know thats not the most mature way of going about a break up but it true. As usual I saw the signs( going out alone , distant when together,  no real conversation ect….)  and I figured that he was going to do it anyway so why rush the inevitable. We were both done.

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I have no bad words towards him. He was a pretty cool guy. He just wasn’t supposed to be my forever. Now that I’m back on the market,  it’s time to get back to fighting shape.  Its going to be a hot summer and you gotta be cute if you are single in the summertime. You never know who you may meet or what may happen.  Darbonny is back.

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Late in bloom

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The term late bloomer is usually used a a negative term.  Its associated with a person that can never seem to get it when everybody else does.  A person that always a little late to the party.  This term has been used to describe me for as long as I can remember. It use to bother me. While everyone else was so sure of themselves & I usually still trying to figure it out. It became quite annoying. Every one else was going off to college while I was still asking the question”why go”. While everyone was on there 3rd boyfriend, I was muddling my way through with an awkward shyness that I couldn’t seem to shake.

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  Part of the reason that those parts of life were so difficult because I was forcing something that wasn’t meant for me at that time. Trying to play catch up with others always left me feeling left behind. Then around 25 I had an amazing epiphany. A saying that my grandma use to tell me began to make sense. “I get there is when I get there.” She was trying to tell me that my arrival to certain places in life were to be done in my time, not in any one elses. Im not on anyone’s time clock but God’s. My life lessons may not be for others. My life is uniquely designed just for me.

The real problem with being a late bloomer is the agonizing time in between getting to that grand epiphany. In the mist of trying to “figure it out” there are alot of bumps and mishaps. There’s the “trying to make it work doing what everyone else” and failing miserably. Then there’s the questions and snide remarks about your  “figure it out”stage from people who will not be affected in anyway if this thing goes south that can work a nerve. The good news: this period in life will not last forever. You have to give it time to pass.

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Being a late bloomer was and is hard. Now that I’m older I count coming into my own later as a blessing. I have a chance to create my own way and find out who I want to be. What people tend to forget is that late bloomers do in fact bloom and beautifully I might add. Some just need time to bloom to their fullest potential. There is nothing wrong with being late in bloom.

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P.s this is just a poetic pic of myself since this was such a deep post.

Late in bloom

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The term late bloomer is usually used a a negative term.  Its associated with a person that can never seem to get it when everybody else does.  A person that always a little late to the party.  This term has been used to describe me for as long as I can remember. It use to bother me. While everyone else was so sure of themselves & I usually still trying to figure it out. It became quite annoying. Every one else was going off to college while I was still asking the question”why go”. While everyone was on there 3rd boyfriend, I was muddling my way through with an awkward shyness that I couldn’t seem to shake.

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  Part of the reason that those parts of life were so difficult because I was forcing something that wasn’t meant for me at that time. Trying to play catch up with others always left me feeling left behind. Then around 25 I had an amazing epiphany. A saying that my grandma use to tell me began to make sense. “I get there is when I get there.” She was trying to tell me that my arrival to certain places in life were to be done in my time, not in any one elses. Im not on anyone’s time clock but God’s. My life lessons may not be for others. My life is uniquely designed just for me.

The real problem with being a late bloomer is the agonizing time in between getting to that grand epiphany. In the mist of trying to “figure it out” there are alot of bumps and mishaps. There’s the “trying to make it work doing what everyone else” and failing miserably. Then there’s the questions and snide remarks about your  “figure it out”stage from people who will not be affected in anyway if this thing goes south that can work a nerve. The good news: this period in life will not last forever. You have to give it time to pass.

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Being a late bloomer was and is hard. Now that I’m older I count coming into my own later as a blessing. I have a chance to create my own way and find out who I want to be. What people tend to forget is that late bloomers do in fact bloom and beautifully I might add. Some just need time to bloom to their fullest potential. There is nothing wrong with being late in bloom.

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P.s this is just a poetic pic of myself since this was such a deep post.